Friday, March 12, 2010

Only 8 days to the SA election, but who will save us from Lara Bingle?

If I see the mindless expression 'spin over substance' trotted out one more time with reference to SA Premier Mike Rann and his government, I'm going to have what my grandmother used to call A Turn.

But alas, there's only one thing journos (and apparently their readers) love more than alliteration, and that's a nice simple false dichotomy. Those who keep saying 'spin over substance' believe, or would have us believe, or both, that the relation of spin to substance is the same as the relation of black to white, good to evil, night to day, you get the picture. I don't know which is the more annoying, the woolly-mindedness or the sibilance and sussuration.

Because as any South Australian with eyes in his or her head is perfectly well aware, Rann has both spin and substance in abundance. You may not like his substance, but you cannot deny that he has it. He may have less of it in some areas (like water), but he certainly has more of it in others, like the healthy state economy, the low unemployment rate and the massive improvements in Adelaide's roads and traffic flow in half a dozen different places over the last eight years. Everything except the really intractable problems (like water) appears to have gone pretty smoothly throughout his two terms thus far, in spite of his, erm, strange team and his apparent ongoing, erm, disagreements with the legal profession.

But the brutal populist Laura Norder policies, even in their weird ideological disconnect from the Social Inclusion Unit headed by a priest appointed by fiat, are a different thing from a lack of substance. So, even, is this silly business with the former waitress, she of the 'funny, flirty friendship' (and if you believe that, then I've got a nice bridge you might like to buy -- though 'funny' is appropriate, if not in the way Rann meant it). Take down their pants and their brains fall out, as my baby sister is wont, tersely, to observe, but that doesn't indicate 'lack of substance' either, whatever else it might be a symptom of.

Unfortunately, shapely blondes are right up there with alliteration and false dichotomy when it comes to what the meeja likes most, so the non-story about the alleged long-gone affair with the waitress is the one we keep hearing over and over again, not least because said waitress keeps popping up behind microphones and in front of cameras -- not unlike that other shapely blonde whose non-story is taking up so much space not only in the sports pages but also in the news pages at the moment. The SA election is only eight sleeps away, but who knows how much longer we're all going to be subjected daily to more breathless, sleazy fluff about the hapless Lara Bingle?


persiflage said...

I like your sister's comments which I am about to disseminate widely.
Can't I have that bridge for free?
Perforce I now have an inkling about who the hell Lara Bingle is. Thanks to the meeja. I did not want that stuff taking up brain space.
Your comments on the SA election are most interesting. NSW pays little attention to anywhere further than a few miles out of Sydney, and you cannot rely on what The Australian has to say.

Mitzi G Burger said...

I concur. It helps to have an insider view of the unfolding drama. As for sussuration, well, one is bound to stumble across some sussurable sentiments in the southern state.

Nigel said...

Lara who?

Marshall-Stacks said...

Her Barbie-ness a bit too vulpine for my admiration.
amusing suggestion in a Letter To The Editor, that she could next target Brian Lara.
Her mother has failed her badly.
I don't blame Michael*Clarke for dumping a woman famous for showering with that oaf Fevola.

Anonymous said...

Erm. From afar it was pretty amazing to see your rather smarmy sounding Premier poked in the cheek with a magzine by a cuckolded husband. What was the magazine anyway? Playboy? For me, Ms Still Life, tis ungallant to call a woman a liar. The power disparity, you know. It's all about trust - or lack of it - isn't it?
I say his brains DID fall out.

Kerryn Goldsworthy said...

Fully aware of the power disparity, thanks, but I believe there are other complicating issues, not that I take sides on this one as you appear to be suggesting -- my view is that they deserve each other.

The magazine was Winestate, a very South Australian touch.

WV: poksiu

Bernice said...

Loved the choice of assaulting magazine. In NSW, it would have been Property Developers News.

Mind you, in NSW, an alleged affair would only attract meeja attention if it involved 3 spouses, parliamentary offices, a hamster and the son of a colourful racing identity.

Jill Jones said...

Spin v substance. Hmm, not unlike the ol' form v. content debate. Taking it in context, you can't have one without the other.

As a newbie S'th Aussie, I still have no idea even where to vote, let alone make a tick on the ballot paper - or is it numbers here? Decisions, decisions, decisions.

At least I now know who Laura (Lara?) Bingle is. It's something to do with cricket and Brian Lara is a fine batsperson.