Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Planet Janet: populated by unexamined metaphors

You know, the Greens are - I like to call them, you know, a pack of wolves in koala costumes
-- Janet Albrechtsen

Now, presumably this is an allusion to the expression 'wolves in sheep's clothing'. Otherwise it wouldn't make any sense.

So: vicious destructive ferocious creature dresses up as innocent harmless ditto. So far so good.

But wait. The point of the wolf in the sheep's clothing is to pretend to be a sheep. Why does it pretend to be a sheep? So that it can fool the shepherd and get up close and personal with the sheep, unsuspected of being a wolf; maybe it can even get penned in with the sheep, so that in the dead of night it can unmask its wild and ferocious muzzle and midnight feast on leg o' lamb to its wild and ferocious heart's content.

That is the point, if you are a wolf, of dressing up as a sheep.

So. The Greens dress up as koalas so that they can fool ... um ... the koala shepherds.

They do this because they ... ahrrm ... want to eat the koalas.

Wait, what?

A Green. As you can see, they are intellectual ay-leets as well as wolves. Approach with extreme caution, or, better still, not at all.

UPDATE: On the other hand, if this is a real koala then it is a koala in academics' clothing. Some of you had better run for your lives.


Deborah said...

That marking is really getting to you, isn't it?

Ampersand Duck said...

Procrastination is a sharpener of the senses.

Excellent point, though.

Ha! See what I just did?

Kerryn Goldsworthy said...

Duckie, certainly did!

Deborah, what's giving me away? The nit-pickiness, or the unrelenting blogging and Facebooking?

Anna Winter said...

Not that I want to defend her, but I think she's referring to the people who go around in koala costumes with buckets to collect donations.

Kerryn Goldsworthy said...

Anna, I'm sure she is, but that makes it even more mangled, as metaphors go, for how do the wolves come into it, and where do they come from if not from the old saying? Besides, if the people with the buckets are wolves underneath their costumes*, it's still a mangled metaphor. What is the money a metaphor for? And what are the wolves going to do with it?

*standing on their hind legs for an awfully long time!

TimT said...

I think what she means to say is the wolves in koala costumes are really sheep in sheep's costumes, but they're up the wrong tree without a paddle, and they're going to have to take a spoon to a spoon fight. And this isn't good for the implementation of economic or infrastructural policy in the coming years.

Lucy Sussex said...

Perfect accompanying photo. To which I add: the Assyrians came down like koalas on the fold. Drop bears!

Anonymous said...

Looks like you watched Q&A last night as I did. Janet A. is another world (or planet) altogether. I remember the sight of Janet perched on stage in front of the audience at an Italian-Australian Chamber of Commerce event where she wore what looked like a leather skirt, a very short leather skirt obviously since her limbs were conspicuously displayed. I'm not sure how much of the actual discussion the audience followed.
For some reason I thought of coquettishness and Julie Bishop all at the same time. A bitchy comment on my part I know, but there you go, they bring out the worst in me.
I tried to rank the ugly comments (to my mind) Janet A. was making, but lost count when she admitted she would love the Tea Party to be in Australia (with all its vileness), without once mentioning that her employer, one Rupert Murdoch, had generously funded the Tea Party's upsurge in the U.S.
I'll bet she also loves Any Rand.

Lord Sedgwick said...

You know, the Greens are - I like to call them, you know, a pack of wolves in koala costumes

Janet has like, yeah, no, a wonderful grasp on fine bogan expressionicality.

David Irving (no relation) said...

Fuck me sideways! Q'n'A totally blew the few shreds of credibility they still almost had when they described Planet as a commentator. She isn't. She's a shrill, unhinged partisan.

I didn't watch Q'n'A, btw. I decided I'd enjoy poking my eyes out rather more, and watched a DVD of "Dead Man" instead.

Kerryn Goldsworthy said...


Except possibly for No Country for Old Men.

Did you recognise Neil Young on guitar, right at the very beginning of the soundtrack?

Kerryn Goldsworthy said...

Also, TimT, quite right, and a long spoon at that. (LONG SPOON IS LONG.)

Lucy: LOL, really did.

furious balancing said...

Neil Young does the entire soundtrack, I have it on CD.

I got shat on by a koala not so long ago, I had no idea it was there until shit started falling out of the sky. I swear it was aiming for me too, it had a very contented look on it's face.

Maybe, I should blame the Greens for the shit shower?

David Irving (no relation) said...

Kerryn, part of the reason I decided to watch it again last night was the Neal Young soundtrack (and the guns). They were palying some of his latest on Radio National yesterday morning, and there's nothing quite as nice as a heavily distorted Gibson guitar to get the juices flowing.

Jarmusch (sp?) is a genius.

David Irving (no relation) said...

Shit. That's playing, dammit.

Kerryn Goldsworthy said...

FB, yes indeed he does do the whole soundtrack, but what amazed me was that one could recognise that it was him with the first note. It wasn't even (from memory) a chord, just one plangent, drawn-out Neil Youngish noise. He's as recognisable a guitarist as Mark Knopfler or Joni Mitchell, which I hadn't realised till that moment.

I have never been up close and personal with a koala but my understanding is that they pee on you as well, if they can possibly manage it.

Kerryn Goldsworthy said...

DI(nr), comments crossed. Haven't listened to any Neil Young for a while, but I've just been watching Richard Thompson's version of 'Woodstock' at the 2000 Joni Mitchell tribute concert, on Youtube, and his boy Teddy's duet with Martha Wainwright (sister of Rufus, daugher of Loudon W. III and Kate McGarrigle) on 'We Can Work it Out', which is both a wonderful demonstration of the miracle of genetics and the abiding genius of Lennon and McCartney.

lucytartan said...

oh I love Dead Man. Wonderful wonderful movie. Perfect movie, in fact, I'd say. We used to have the soundtrack CD, but it was in the CD player that got stolen in a burglary in about 1998.

David Irving (no relation) said...

One of my sons had the soundtrack. If it hasn't been lost in a move, I might borrow it.

David Irving (no relation) said...

Should have said: the Richard Thompson "Woodstock" was a delight.

Stephen Luntz said...

As a former (quite long term) occupant of the Wilderness Society's koala suits, and active Green I love this. Thank you for bringing it to my attention. The idea that a wolf might be my totem animal raises my status no end - top predators rule!