Saturday, February 11, 2012

Sexual assault prevention tips

1.  Don’t put drugs in people’s drinks in order to control their behaviour.

2.  When you see someone walking by themselves, leave them alone.

3.  If you pull over to help someone with car problems, remember not to assault them.

4.  Never open an unlocked door or window uninvited.

5.  If you are in an elevator and someone else gets in, don’t assault them.

6.  Use the buddy system. If you are not able to stop yourself from assaulting people, ask a friend to stay with you while you are in public.

7.  Always be honest with people. Don’t pretend to be a caring friend in order to gain the trust of someone you want to assault. Consider telling them that you plan to assault them. If you don’t communicate your intentions, the other person may take that as a sign that you do not plan to rape them.

8.  Don’t forget: you can’t have sex with someone unless they are awake. If they are asleep or unconscious, it’s not called ‘having sex’.

9.  Carry a whistle. If you’re worried you might assault someone accidentally, you can hand the whistle to the person you’re with so that they can blow it if you do.

From here, via Facebook.

Wednesday, February 1, 2012

In which Papa Cat seizes the day. Again.

Any long-time readers might remember this post from five years ago, when my dad, having blown out the candles on his 80th birthday cake, said 'Right: now I'm striking out for 85.'

Today's the day.

I spoke to him on the phone earlier: he was looking forward to a fancy lunch out with his daughters, followed my garbled account of my not-yet-written conference paper and asked a couple of pertinent questions, reassured me that I would get everything done, asked me what was coming up for Writers' Week, and gave me a thorough and lively description of Lleyton Hewitt's commentating skills as demonstrated during the Australian Open men's final ('I mean, I can't stand the little bastard, but he did a fantastic job') and a quick rundown on the latest in Adelaide's bikie wars. Still driving; stayed up with me last week till after 1 am watching the tennis, with no ill effects the next day; blood pressure 120/70 and the cardiologist doesn't want to see him for another twelve months.

Here he is, with the dog of the moment, 65 years ago.