One entire new blog and two whole years after the traffic sign that said
TURN LEFT
WITH CAKE,
I still haven't had my eyes checked. It's just not the kind of errand that seems urgent, not when your house is full of cat-hair tumbleweeds, your winter doona is still at the dry cleaners' after being left there more than a month ago, and the feral bougainvillea is about to pull the fence down.
So, like the master of avoidance behaviour I have been for so long, I was tending this morning to my FaceBook Farm, which shows you what a plant, animal or building is called whenever you happen to hover the cursor over it. My understanding was that that golden tree is called a Flourishing Birch.
But instead, in a moment worthy of a horror novel involving computers, the text popped up on the screen saying FLOURISHING BITCH.
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53 minutes ago
5 comments:
Ah it will be more accurate, but will it be as fun? I have a little trouble with consonant substitution so I read your first as "flourishing bitch", even with the benefit of 20/20 vision.
'Tis better to be a flourishing bit/rch than a harrowed wall-flower.
I have experienced a similar problem today, and discovered that the issue was a blob of grease on the lens of my reading glasses!
You're clearly flourishing, and it's jealous. Think nothing of it.
Don't get your eyes tested, whatever you do, or you'll be able to see MOAR cat/dog hair and other blobs of mess around the house, and you'll feel obliged to do something about them.
You need to get your eyes tested to see if you are getting glaucoma or macular degeneration.
You can still choose to be a hippie rebel and not get glasses that enable you to see and not fall over and break your hip.
Thats all up to you.
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