To do list: ring optometrist, make appointment

One entire new blog and two whole years after the traffic sign that said

TURN LEFT
WITH CAKE,

I still haven't had my eyes checked. It's just not the kind of errand that seems urgent, not when your house is full of cat-hair tumbleweeds, your winter doona is still at the dry cleaners' after being left there more than a month ago, and the feral bougainvillea is about to pull the fence down.

So, like the master of avoidance behaviour I have been for so long, I was tending this morning to my FaceBook Farm, which shows you what a plant, animal or building is called whenever you happen to hover the cursor over it. My understanding was that that golden tree is called a Flourishing Birch.

But instead, in a moment worthy of a horror novel involving computers, the text popped up on the screen saying FLOURISHING BITCH.

Facebooking when you're supposed to be working, with particular reference to the application known as Twirl

Did you know that TAIPAN and PINATA are both anagrams of PATINA but that, of the three, Twirl will accept only PATINA as a valid word?






No, neither did I, until a minute ago. I don't know about you, but I've used both 'taipan' and 'pinata' more often in conversation lately than 'patina'.





Now use these three words in a sentence. And I mean just the one sentence.