Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Maybe it's made out of real tigers

So last night I finally found the Tiger Balm (which was not in the drawer dedicated to Protesting Crumbling Aching Bones, Joints and Muscles, so so much for a place for everything etc, which is clearly not working), and rubbed a bit into my badly stiffened and aching neck, which was suffering from the deadline overload and which has never been the same since I rolled the car.* I have no idea whether it really works or not, but am soothed and comforted and distracted by the smell.

And clearly I am not alone in this, because the next thing I knew, Madam the Bad Cat** was perched on the back of my computer chair snuffling and woofling, digging her very long sharp claws*** into my shoulder and licking my neck and hair in a frenzy. I know she has Issues already and I'm a bit worried about where this new one might be heading. Glucosamine addiction? Wrist brace fetish? Neck pillow monopolisation?****


* Never mind.

** As distinct from the sweet-hearted Poppet, who would be too shy to do such a thing.

*** The instructions that came with the claw-clippers begin 'Start with a relaxed cat', which is why I've never used them.

**** Back in the early 1990s when I was living in Melbourne and Stephanie, then my Melb U colleague, was pregnant with Joel, I was in a pharmacy one day and saw something I'd never seen before, a special Pregnancy Pillow for the lady who likes to rest or sleep lying on her side, the pillow contoured to support the baby, so of course I snaffled it and gave it to her. A week or so later a photo appeared in my workplace pigeonhole, of S's little cat Jemima sprawled lioness-wise on the pillow. On the back there was a message: 'Dear Kerryn, thank you for the special pillow. It is very comfortable.'

4 comments:

Mindy said...

We used to have a cat that slept on our pillows. When we moved in the middle of the night he would quickly take over the space until your head was off the pillow. Then a quick middle of the night game of 'remember who has claws' would ensure. I tried to move the pillow with him on it and replace it with another, but he was too quick for me. Little sod has been at rest for some years now, but I still remember by bloodied forearms fondly. Not a patch on what he used to do to the MIL.

Mindy said...

"my" that should be.

Stephanie Trigg said...

Well, she always did have very nice manners...

Ampersand Duck said...

Clever kitty!

As a child I visited the Tiger Balm Gardens in Singapore. I am told they don't exist anymore, but they had a very realistic installation of various Asian torture chambers, complete with sharpened bamboo stakes piercing fake-bloodied wax or resin human figures. All very graphic, and every time I smell Tiger Balm, I see the pointy bits. Maybe Madam smells them...

WV= areal