Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Headlines #2

You know how sometimes when you're dreaming there'll be a noise in the real world loud enough to impinge on the dream but not to wake you up, so somehow your dreaming brain comes up with a lightning-fast rationale for the noise and works it in to the dream narrative?

I got that feeling this morning, albeit wide awake, when my daily email from the Age arrived with the leading headline 'Train fix still to come: Kosky'. Hmm, I thought, what on earth would Barrie Kosky be doing with a train? Some sort of massive neo-Grand Guignol stage set, or maybe 'train' here is a metaphor? Why is it broken, and how come it's making headlines?

It actually refers, of course, to Victorian transport minister Lynne Kosky and all the Melbourne trains that melted yesterday in the heat. But the brain, she gloms onto whatever association is most familiar; she does it in a fraction of a second, and she weaves it into some logical, if utterly incredible, narrative shape.


Penthe said...

Would love to see what Barrie Kosky does with the trains in Melbourne. I think it's a fabulous idea to put the two together - he's great with making large, complicated things work and commuting would be so much more interesting.

TimT said...

COMMUTER CHAOS aboard the 9.15 Epping to City when, just after the train pulled out from Northcote Station, 1000 Hebrews stuck their heads up out of the floor of the train and sang La Donne e Mobile.

Bizarrely, the singing heads didn't impede the running of the train, but they stopped when it was time for the orchestral interlude, and withdrew their heads.

A message then came out over the train intercom: "Attention passengers. We apologise for this break in orchestral services."

On contacting Metro Trains, The Age has been informed that it is all part of the new Barry Kosky-run public transport services.

Other complaints from outraged passengers include:

- The last service from Flinders Street to Upfield being decorated with tiny Wiener Schnitzels, hung with the flag of the old Austro-Hungarian empire;

- All stations for the 7.30pm Saturday train to Lilydale being announced in ancient Greek, rather than English;

- Ticket inspectors wearing huge rabbit masks issuing travellers fines for wearing purple socks after work hours.

The Age is attempting to get a response from the government at the moment.

elsewhere said...


Ann ODyne said...

ditto what Penthe said above
Tim TRAIN for Transport Minister Now!