Saturday, September 27, 2008

Don't make any sudden moves

Further to yesterday's whining, here are four things I learned today:

1) Almost every movement that any part of the human body can possibly make is somehow connected with at least one of the muscles in the lower back.

2) This is particularly true of getting into the car, putting on one's seat belt, changing gear, braking, accelerating, looking in the rear-vision mirrors, doing the quick over-the-shoulder check in the blind spot, and, most of all, making violent hand gestures at inconsiderate fellow motorists.

3) Feeling your entire lower back suddenly go into full, agonising spasm that makes you arch like a hoop snake while driving in city traffic is a more interesting experience than you wanted to have.

4) Those light silk shirts that you wring out tightly while still wet after you've washed them and then hang straight up on the line because they are supposed to dry all crinkledy will gain an extra dimension of authentic crinklediness if you then forget about them and the hot north wind blows them off the line into the weeds and leaf litter, whence you retrieve them hours later in the dark with a torch in the now-howling gale. An extra dimension of authenticity is added if you pick them up with the hand from which you haven't quite fully removed the olive oil, and then drop them back into the dirt because you forgot until it was too late that bending over to pick things up = bad.


Anonymous said...

Bad back & you're doing hand-washing?? Have you ever been diagnosed as suffering from martyrdom? Runs in my family...

Find yourself a good man-servant cum chauffeur. And another to act as proxy for gesturing at fellow motorists.


Lucy Sussex said...

This might sound odd, but when I had lower back problems, a hippie I know prescribed a hula hoop.

It worked, and you can do this in the privacy of your back yard.

Sensa achievement, especially when I made a small girl jealous.

Penthe said...

At least the world will be able to see your suffering when you wear your extra-authentic silk shirt from now own.

Have you tried nurofen plus?


Pavlov's Cat said...

TFA, my mother and I often had a conversation that went like this:
ME: Why are you doing the vacuuming/weeding/stove-cleaning when you're feeling so ill?
HER: Because I might feel worse later.
As I age I appreciate her point of view more and more. As to the good manservant cum chauffeur, a chance would be a fine thing.

Lucy, I used to be good with a hula hoop, and it actually sounds like a top idea. One would keep the offending joints and muscles moving without putting strain on them. Ho for Toys-R-Us.

Pen, I have my mum's arthritis in several places so Nurofen Plus and I are the very best of friends.

Mindy said...

I thought the Dr said this would be short term. Or is this short term? I hope it ends soon. Very soon. I'm a big fan of panafen.