Monday, April 5, 2010

Nothing like a good visualisation

Genetically cursed as my sisters and I have been with not just one but two bad-tempered extroverts for grandmothers, I at least (my sisters usually don't bother) spend an awful lot of time trying to be patient while my patience is tried. (And, usually, found wanting.) It's not just irritability, it's a full-on propensity to breathe heavily like Marvin the Martian and say in a posh high-pitched robotic voice 'You have made me very angry. [pant pant pant] Very. Angry. Indeed.'

Bugs Bunny And Marvin The Martian via

Unlike the sisters, however, I regard it as a major failing and character flaw, and -- as with other curses of the human condition, like migraines -- try very hard to stay out of situations that might bring it on. Unfortunately I have now failed to do this two days running, and find myself wanting to scream obscenities at two completely different lots of people -- one online, one off -- which is some kind of a record even for me.

And so there is nothing for it but housework therapy. By the time I've wielded the vacuum cleaner the length and breadth of the house, including the special attachments for curtains and sofas, I'll have vacuumed them all up in my imagination, consigned them to the disposable vacuum cleaner bag where they can be smothered by the kilos of cat hair, and chucked the bag in the bin.


fifi said...


I love to suck my enemies into the vacuum cleaner. With the fur AND the flea eggs.

Last week I was so breathless with fury that I actually swam three kilomters for the first time in eighteen months. I was so enraged, and my heartrate so elevated, that I knew I couldnt get out of the water till I was truly whacked.

Kerryn Goldsworthy said...

Yes, the elevated heart rate is a bit of a worry. I'm a statistical sitting duck for a heart attack when I get this enraged.

Casey said...

Yes, I'm arrrggghing with you at this point.....btw Helen Reddy has lumped you in with me. Sorry about that.

BwcaBrownie said...

other women know also that housework obliterates aggravation. especially with Neil Young cranked up loud. Just don't throw the cats out with the cat-hair.
Happy Easter

Mitzi G Burger said...

My new vac is bagless so when I try this out after my next run-in with The Ogress and other ee-vill combatants, they will be forced to reside amongst my millipede and beetle collection until the dust compartment is next emptied. A grand stratagem.

tigtog said...

I went to see an exhibition at the Maritime Museum to calm down a bit, but I think I may still need the therapeutic housework tomorrow. If only to enjoy that visualisation.

Kerryn Goldsworthy said...

You have to ask yourself what's the matter with them, and what that level of defensiveness is really saying. Hope the Maritime Museum was a good distraction. I had a family meltdown to take my mind off the 'La la la I can't hear you, because I'm not reading your comments and even if I did I wouldn't understand them' brigade.

[Note to other visitors: Casey and TT and I, among others, got into a bizarre online discussion of language and gender yesterday and today that brought out the worst in some of the participants.]

tigtog said...

The exhibition was all about mythic creatures, so it was a pretty good distraction, actually.

I guess I do understand the level of defensiveness a little based on my own past experience: I used to be defensive about African American criticism of the word "niggardly" as a slur against POC, because I once upon a time bought into the RealEtymology(TM) argument that the word didn't derive from anything to do with the word "negro" etc etc. I felt very strongly once that making a stand about what words "really mean" was Very Important, when of course, usage evolves, and most importantly, Usage trumps Etymology anyway, even when we don't like it.

That's because I realised that it doesn't matter what the word originally meant (fascinating as etymology is), because arsehats really have been using "niggardly" to make "jokes" based on punning on the word "n*gg*r" - it's not just some faux-etymology that "oversensitive" POC have made up all by themselves (see also "picnic" as "pick a n*gg*r" lynching "parties"). No wonder it is that racist slur that jumps out at POC when they hear the word and it makes them feel marginalised and unsafe.

Also, really super-special arsehats actually go into tortuous wordings when ordering at restaurants with POC wait-staff to deliberately include these words when they are ordering their food, just because they know it makes the servers uncomfortable but they can't do anything about it. Who wants to be associated in any way with arsehats like that just by standing your ground on words which have synonyms you can use instead?

The side-fact that those words don't carry such weight here in Australia is pretty irrelevant when one is writing for a global audience, too.

Mindy said...

Wow, that was an interesting read. I wonder when asking someone to be courteous became an attack on their civil (ha!) rights?

Sorry I wasn't around to wade into the fray with you, but I suspect it wouldn't have made much difference I don't think they were listening.