Googlememe: needs

It always bemuses me a bit when people start talking about their needs, as though the mere act of declaring them were some kind of claim to entitlement. (Two real examples, that I have heard with my own ears from people who were not joking, to make the point: 'But I need to have four or five women in my life.' 'But I need to be adored.' Look on the bright side though, at least they didn't come from the same person.)

Needs are relative to situation. If you are bleeding to death, you could probably say with justification that you need a blood transfusion, sharpish. But otherwise, shelter, water and food are needs, and not much else. Maybe a bit of love, of some kind or another. But pretty much everything else isn't a need, it's just a want.

I have pinched this 'needs' meme straight from Deborah Strange Land. I've seen it before, but I was quite taken with Deborah's little annotations, which spark it up no end. The rules are that you google your name followed by the word 'needs' and then list the first ten that have come up, but my results have been skewed by the presence in some "reality" TV show or other of a Kerryn about whom many brainless opinions have been passed online, some of them very unkind, so I have substituted the ten I like best, thus:

1) Kerryn needs a housekeeper for her room.
No, she needs a housekeeper for her house.

2) Kerryn needs to be remembered.
Depends. With regard to certain people, situations and events, what Kerryn needs is to be forgotten.

3) Kerryn needs a holiday.
You have no idea.

4) Kerryn needs a thought bubble above her head.
Au contraire; her mother always said she was far too open a book.

5) Kerryn needs to start shooting.
Well, not quite, not yet. But give her time.

6) Kerryn needs to replace the one she sold by mistake.
Nah, she needs to replace the one she bought by mistake. White streaks of undissolved washing powder on the "clean" black clothes, pffft.

7) Kerryn needs an understudy.
She certainly thinks it would be very reassuring to know there was someone who could come on and take over if she had swine flu or something, yes.

8) Kerryn needs makeup like 24/7, honestly.
This is doubtless true, but luckily she is too old to care.

9) Kerryn needs work.
She already has more work than can be managed, unless this was meant in the sense of 'This proposal needs work', in which case, quite.

10) Kerryn needs to bite some chumps.
Now that is what I call a need.