Thursday, October 13, 2011

Things I would rather do than pose for photographs

I have done all of these things so I know whereof I speak. In ascending order of reluctance:

1) Give blood
2) Give a speech to a crowd, unprepared
3) Vacuum the whole house
4) Eat mushrooms I don't recognise
5) Have a general anaesthetic
6) Clean up cat vomit
7) Vomit (see #4) (also #5, and possibly #2) (and indeed #6 and #8)
8) Watch someone else vomit
9) Have the crowns on my two front teeth forcibly removed and replaced, while conscious
10) Wrangle Poppet into the cat carrier and take her to the vet

Maybe not roll and wreck another car. Not quite. But close.

11 comments:

Liam said...

You've got quite a few of my least favourite things in that list there, too. Maybe four, and I've never met your cats.

Ann O'Dyne said...

Our PM Gillard has the extra burden every day of being photographed and it must be nerve-wracking.
Her list of Druthers would be a good read too.

Kerryn Goldsworthy said...

Mine's not about being photographed as such. Just about having to pose. Bleargh.

paul walter said...

I've all sorts of things I'd like to say, but I suspect it wouldn't be a good time, not for my health. Life is such a contingent thing.
With the cat, perhaps the problem is spring moult.
Even mine chundered up a fur ball the other day and has looked a bit tatty.
It's manky, the news continues to churn out stories emphasising the depths to which human nature descends rather than what heights it can reach- what's to laugh?
Smile too long in these times and it will upset people, then a white van with people in white coats turns up. They will carry a straight jacket and a large hyperdermic full of Largactyl.
Just look sour like everyone else and you wont draw attention to yourself because you blend in. Other wise people will just think you are trying to come the raw prawn.

Nabakov said...

Perhaps you could try posing while under a general anaesthetic?

According to WV, you'd look quite "unsur".

Nabakov said...

Perhaps you could try posing while under a general anaesthetic?

According to WV, you'd look quite "unsur".

Mindy said...

That teeth one is setting my teeth on edge. I loathe posing for photographs, but I'm not sure I'd sign up for that instead. Well not completely sure anyway.

Anonymous said...

Would that have been the photos in today's 'Tiser? TFA

Kerryn Goldsworthy said...

That, plus about 50 others in the same shoot, yes. Actually the whole experience was slightly less tortuous than I was expecting, though the moment when a passing jogger got roped in to hold the flash was a bit of a low point.

Caitlin Kelly said...

Last time I was photographed (aaah, the author's rough life!) was for a magazine cover (holy hell) and it took the administrative efforts of five (!!) people who arrived at my small apartment from three cities and 4.5 hours (!!!) of posing. The good bit was being given the very pretty dress and cardigan they had chosen for me. But I came away in awe of models' stamina.

If the photographer is fun, funny and cool, it can be enjoyable. I loved the one who asked "So, who ARE you? What should I photograph?" After much thought, I posed holding a cup of tea. It's a sweet pic.

Sorry you found it so gross. Vomit? Vomit?????

Ann O'Dyne said...

thanks KG - now I have discovered Caitlin Kelly and her worthy books on women, guns and shopping.