Monday, July 5, 2010

This is hilarious

Memo to the Liberal Party: if you want to sell something to women, enlisting the aid of the aggressive, amoral, antifeminist dick-wavers in their 20s who tend to abound in PR and advertising is probably not a fabulously good way to go about it.

That would be the case with any product you were trying to sell. But when the product you're trying to sell is Tony Abbott, well, think of a number and double it.

The party is understood to have appointed Splash Consulting, an agency that focuses on marketing to women, to conduct research in up to eight key marginal seats where women have been identified as crucial to a swing against the government.
And I bet it's cost them a squillion bucks and we don't need to ask where that money came from, do we now. And yet, I can think of a foolproof way of selling Tony Abbott to women voters and the Liberal Party is very welcome to my advice for free:

Give him a head transplant.

FTFY.

10 comments:

fmark said...

"The SheMarketing™ methodology is a blend of international neurological research, modern social trend research and proven, practical marketing strategy."

JahTeh said...

Could this lot be arrested for taking money under false pretences?
I mean if they're trying to sell His Lycraness then they already know it's useless if they've done their homework.

Helen said...

"neurological research". Ugh. Cheap evo-psychy-essentialist bullshit.

Helen said...

"His Lycraness"? Witchy, I want to shower you with giant amethysts.

Bernice said...

I think the fella needs more than a head transplant; a soul transmogrification would also help.

Kerryn Goldsworthy said...

That too.

Ann ODyne said...

'The party leadership has been examining how to improve Tony Abbott's image with women, while also raising the profile of deputy leader Julie Bishop.
It had hired the agency before the Gillard' (ascension)(they had the c**p word I won't repeat)

so they sniffed the foul wind of online opinion regarding his papism as it relates to female freedom.

They could rebrand him as an atheist, but I wouldn't believe it.
He could found the A.Abbott Home For Unwed Mothers, but I would still remember that uni love child debacle.
As JahTeh said, the agency will be taking the cash under false pretences, as there is no way an intelligent woman can view His Lycra-ness as anything other than a big dill.

Marshall-Stacks said...

I can think of things they could have him do that would make STUPID women swing right -
* put Sex & The City in his Fave Movies on his Fbook profile,
* add Carson*Kressly to his FB Friends.
*put him on DancingWith TheStars,
* produce Liberal Hand Lotion samples to hand out to undecided voters.
* have him start carrying 1. a ManBag.
2. a fluffy dog in a designer carrier when he is doorstepped at PH,
but really the very existence of SheMarketing is offensive to me, and they won't get him to do the one thing that would Swing My Vote*

- get to Christmas Island to personally greet some refugee children with a Welcome Bag containing Speedos for their new Aussie life.


* it sounds like Pimp My Ride really.

Ampersand Duck said...

no no no, I beg to differ...

YOU are hilarious.

THEY are pathetic.

Feral Sparrowhawk said...

I'd love to know more about Splash. Smart, feminist people working in PR do exist, and I'd be surprised if there isn't at least one company out there that markets to women in a way that assumes a reasonable level of intelligence.

OTOH, if such a company exists, you wouldn't really expect the Libs to hire them. If they tried it would be interesting to see whether the company would take them on as a client.